Avocado Warmies

This avocado will never betray you by going from rock-hard to compost overnight. Microwave all 1.5 French lavender-scented pounds for warmth, chill it for cool relief, or keep it close when your nerves need something softer than unsolicited advice.

Avocado Specifications

• Microwavable for soothing warmth with no toast required
• Chillable for cool relief when the room—and everyone in it—is too much
• Gently weighted to help restless bodies settle down
• Filled with natural grains and dried French lavender
• Child-safe and meets all U.S. safety standards
• Helpful for bedtime, couch recovery, and refusing to answer one more email
• Dimensions: 8" × 6" × 10"
• Weight: 1.5 lbs

How to Keep It Fresh

Warm: Microwave for 60–90 seconds and enjoy up to two hours of soothing warmth. Let it return to room temperature before reheating. Unlike actual avocados, patience improves the outcome.

Cool: Place it inside a sealed freezer bag and freeze for 2–3 hours. The bag prevents accidental seasoning by loose ice and ancient freezer crumbs.

Care: Surface clean with a damp cloth only. Do not machine wash or immerse in water. It may look ready for guacamole, but the filling has other plans.